Electronics Etc
by Naz
Summary: The LOTR characters are working at a small electronics business in the modern day. Follow them as they are confronted with snotty customers (watch that sword, Aragorn!), bad food during lunch, and fangirls come just to see certain people. no slash, PLEASE
1. Welcome to work bwawawawaaaa

It was early in the morning at the Electronics Etc. Droids were patrolling around, waiting for the workers to come in.  
  
A short little guy walked up, digging in his pockets for his employee ID card. He unlocked the doors to the place with his key, and walked up to the little wooden gate (not a GATE gate) that was closed when Electronics Etc. was open. He held out his ID card with a smile. "Hello," he said.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Frodo Baggins," the droid said in its electronic voice, unlocking and opening the gate. Frodo walked over to his working station, and his typewriter. "You are the first here again."  
  
An old guy in a black leather jacket over something like a white dress walked in, up to the gate, & held out his ID card. An anime sweat drop appeared on the droid. "Greyhame... Why are you wearing a leather jacket?"  
  
"Picked it up in Valinor after I died," grinned Gandalf. "Had to hide it though..."  
  
The droid sighed and opened the gate. Gandalf walked over to his station. The droid checked the clock. Half an hour till opening.  
  
Some anime people with weird hair all walked in and were admitted (Yu-Gi- Oh ^-^*). A little while later, a man with a sword, walked in and up to the gate. "Hi," he grinned.  
  
"Aragorn," the droid said. "ID card, if you please."  
  
Aragorn's grin faded slightly. "ID? Oh, of course. ID." He began rummaging around in his various pockets, pulling them out and shaking them. "It's gotta be somewhere..."  
  
"And your sword..." The droid said.  
  
"I never leave home without it," the Ranger said, digging his hand deep into a pocket and pulling out an old Cream Saver. "Good thing I didn't today-nasty orc guy on the road today. Got out of his car to kill me! Something about killing his brother. Well, I took care of him. Pip and Merry cheering me on from the car... Then I had to take the little guys to their daycare... I'm later than usual." He finally pulled out his ID card and triumphantly held it out to the droid. It let him in. Aragorn took his station and immediately booted up his computer and checked his e-mail for anything from Arwen.  
  
Another short guy walked up to the droid and held out his ID card. "Is Mr. Frodo here?" he asked.  
  
"Samwise Gamgee, he is always here before you," the droid said, letting Sam in.  
  
"Hello Mr. Frodo," Sam waved on the way to his workplace.  
  
"Hi Sam."  
  
Next floated in Boromir's ghost. "Where is your brother?" the droid asked.  
  
"Oh," Boromir said. "Dad asked him to check Ithilien one more time. Make sure he cleaned up all the evil little orc-y guys. Can I come in?" he asked, flashing his ghosty ID.  
  
"Sure," the droid said. Boromir floated to his workstation. He grinned at Frodo, who hid. "Hey!" Sam cried, jumping the ghost, who he went through. "No fair!!" "CHILDREN!" Aragorn and Gandalf chorused. "Sorry daddy," Sam and Boromir said, then went off chatting like buddies.  
  
Faramir finally ran in, ID in hand. He stopped by a water fountain, then ran to the gate. "Quick, lemme in!" he panted. "Dad's gone crazy! He's going to the Gondor Eagles vs. Mordor Mountains basketball game in his bathrobe! Can I change my name? ID?"  
  
"N. O." the droid sighed.  
  
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Faramir as the droid let him in. "I'll never show my face again......"  
  
"Is Arwen coming in today?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Elrond made her quit the job. He took her place," Gandalf said. Aragorn pouted, especially when the Lord of Rivendell came sashaying in, wearing dark sunglasses and held his ID card out to the droid. "Come in, Mr. Elrond," it said.  
  
" * Agent * Elrond, you mean," the Elf grinned, and sashayed to his workstation. Aragorn gave him a dark look.  
  
Next came Eowyn. She stomped over to the gate and thrust her ID card at the droid. "What is wrong with you?" asked the droid.  
  
"I'm going to kill Eomer," she snapped as the gate opened and she stomped to her station, stopping for a second to flash a drop-dead-gorgeous smile at Aragorn. He smiled back, & she completely ignored poor Faramir, who struck his patented Handsome Pose for him. "Poor Faramir," Aragorn muttered. "Poor Eowyn. Completely oblivious to the amount of attention Faramir's giving her."  
  
Next Eomer came in, looking like he should be dead. "You look horrible!" Aragorn called. "Did Eowyn do all that?"  
  
"Yup," Eomer said, showing the droid his ID card and limping to his workplace. :She threatened to use Uncle's sword on me, but he came in in the nick of time and told her not to use it; it needed to be cleaned or something..." He went back to his workplace. Seconds later crashing and smashing and yelping could be heard.  
  
Next Gimli came in. "Where's Legolas?" Aragorn asked him, twirling around on his chair and getting dizzy.  
  
"Guess," Gimli said.  
  
"We will be opening soon," the droid's electronic voice suddenly rang out. He glanced at Legolas' empty workstation. "Where is Legolas Greenleaf?"  
  
Suddenly the front doors BURST open and in came Legolas, hair shining. He stared at his reflection in the doors and patted his hair down. Then he took out his ID card and walked over to the droid at the solid wooden gate wearing a picture perfect smile. "Hello," he said.  
  
"Late AGAIN," the droid said.  
  
"I was at the hairdressers!" the Elf protested. "Took FOREVER... I just hope it didn't get messed up. A little windy outside, you know... But do you like my new braids? Yes, I know they're the same style, but they're NEATER. And look, look-different ponytail holders. The OUCHLESS kind. But of course the hairdresser just talked FOREVER. Do you like its shine? Its body? It's nice and full of body now, don't you agree?"  
  
The droid, now with an anime sweat drop the size of Canada, let Legolas in. He walked to his workplace, whicxh was next to Aragorn's, careful not to ruin his hair.  
  
Then, the place opened.  
  
...  
  
OK, so Legolas had enough time to file his nails. The truth was, Electronics Etc. was a small business and just starting. Not many people came there. And when they did, they had to stop by the door to get the pamphlets that would be filled out when they went over to the counters (where Leggy and Ary worked) when they told the employees what electronics they wanted. The info was then filled out on the pamphlet after the pamphlet had been stamped on all pages & then the info was entered into the computer. Whichever employee it was, Leggy or Ary, then told the customer how long it would take for the electronic to be delivered. The other employees, like Yugi and Gandalf and the rest, were kept busy with their own special jobs-Frodo worked on the typewriter making flyers for Electronics Etc. that Sam scanned and printed out in mass quantities. Yugi and his pals worked on the website, each assigned to his or hers own part of the page to keep up.  
  
Employees like Gimli had the job of packing and delivering the electronics. Only the quote-on-quote "strong employees" were assigned to do this, since only once in a while were any of the electronics being delivered very small. The others kept track of inventory and how much of what had to be ordered. Needless to say, they were very busy, though they didn't get many customers. Gave Ary enough time to check his e-mail for any love notes from Arwen and gave Leggy enough time to file his nails and trade jokes with Gimli.  
  
Their day had only just begun...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: sorry to any leggy fans I've made upset! Very sorry! 


	2. Lunch Break! Lunch Break!

The first customer came in. He took a pamphlet and walked up to Legolas. "Excuse me," he said. Legolas was laughing at Gimli's joke, and now turned to face the customer. "Hello, sir," he said, leaning on the counter.  
  
"Hello," the man said. "I'd like-"  
  
"Your pamphlet, sir," Legolas said, holding out one hand to the man and the other to catch the Trident Gimli tossed him.  
  
"What for?" the man asked.  
  
"To write and validate all the information, sir."  
  
"Oh. Of course." He handed Leggy his packet. The Elf took out the stamper and began stamping all the pamphlet pages.  
  
"What are you doing?!" the man exclaimed as if witnessing a murder.  
  
"Stamping your pamphlet, sir," Legolas said. "It's required."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Leggy began stamping again. The man interrupted him. "Why?"  
  
"Why what, sir?"  
  
"Why is stamping it all over required?"  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes. "I'm not quite sure, SIR," he said, finishing pressing down the stamper one last time. Then he folded the pamphlet and put it down, the front page facing up. The Elf pointed to the line that read "sig" underneath. "Your signature, sir."  
  
"Will anyone have access to my information? My signature? Will they try to forge it?"  
  
Leggy gave up. He banged his head down onto the counter as Aragorn rushed up, dragged the distraught Elf away- "Chew on your Trident; reduce the stress."- and sat in the chair at the workstation. "You see, sir," he said in a business-like way, "All of this will be either safely with you and safely in our computers. No one can access your information." He smiled. "Now please sign."  
  
The man did so.  
  
Aragorn pointed to the box below, with various options of electronics with checkmarks next to them. "Now sir," the Ranger said. "Please put a check next to the electronic you would like to purchase. If it's not on there, please check 'other' and state what you want."  
  
The man did so.  
  
"Now please specify which brand, sir," Aragorn said, indicating a line for just that.  
  
The man did so.  
  
Aragorn took back the pamphlet and looked it over. He went on the computer and quickly IM-ed Boromir.  
  
Leggy_: hey, boromir, it's aragorn.  
  
BOWmir: hey  
  
Leggy_: "bow" mir?  
  
BOWmir: yup. I died from being shot by a bow  
  
Leggy_: uugh listen I need to know if we have any iomega zip drives  
  
BOWmir: lemme check.  
  
BOWmir may not be able to reply because they have been set to away  
  
BOWmir: ok I'm back  
  
Leggy_: well?  
  
BOWmir: we don't right now, I was just about to order some  
  
Leggy_: how long will that take  
  
BOWmir: maybe 4 days  
  
Leggy_: I need an exact time, boooorooooomiir. I've got a customer waiting here  
  
BOWmir: HOLD ON!!  
  
BOWmir may not be able to reply because they have been set to away  
  
BOWmir: ok definite answer. 3 days I was one day off. ONE DAY!!  
  
Leggy_: + our shipping time?  
  
BOWmir: plus shipping time prolly yeah 4 days HAH! I was RIGHT!  
  
Leggy_: good night, gracie.  
  
Aragorn logged off IM and turned to the customer. "It'll take four days to get everything worked out and shipped, sir," he told the man, as well as writing it on the pamphlet. Then he turned back to the computer and entered it into the computer.  
  
"The cost?"  
  
Ary checked. "Sixty-five dollars, sir. You pay when it's delivered to you." The man looked a smidgen pale. "Here's your pamphlet, sir," he said. "Have a nice day."  
  
"Don't you need this?" the man asked, looking at the pamphlet.  
  
"We have all our info, sir. Think of that as your proof of purchase."  
  
"Why is it a pamphlet?" the man asked.  
  
"It has more information inside, sir."  
  
The man opened it and read something scribbled on the inside. "'I love Arwen'?"  
  
Aragorn leapt up. "THAT'S where you put that pamphlet I was writing on, Sam!" he said accusingly. The Ranger leapt over the counter and reached for the man, who screamed "Aiiyaah" and ran out the door. "Come back! You stole my love letter!" Aragorn yelled, and ran out of Electronics Etc., banging the door open. Silence fell.  
  
Sam broke it. "Well," he said. "I guess THAT man won't be coming back anytime soon."  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
However, when Aragorn came back later ("Only ten minutes! New record!" Leggy said, holding a stopwatch), everyone burst into applause. Sam ran over, a microphone in hand. "Well, Mr. Aragorn, sir, how DID you do it?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Handle that customer so well? You were AMAZING!"  
  
Ary smiled into the camera. ("Where did that come from?" he muttered) "Ah, well..." He polished his nails. "It comes naturally, I guess."  
  
"All right, Mr. Aragorn, sir, thank you! Let's hear it for A-RA- GOOOORRRRRRRRN!!!" Sam yelled into the mike as Aragorn proudly went back to his workplace and the whole place burst into applause and whistles.  
  
Once everything was back to normal, but no customers coming yet, Legolas leaned over to Aragorn and muttered, "Thank you."  
  
"No problem," the Ranger said.  
  
"Did you get your love note back?"  
  
Aragorn made a face. "No," said he. "I finally pinned him down and sat on him until he swore he would use White-Out on it when he got home." Legolas giggled. "You SAT on him?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"In PUBLIC?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Legolas almost burst out laughing like an idiot. "Good Elbereth!" he giggled, and Aragorn whacked him over the head.  
  
"Shaddap..."  
  
The next hours dragged by, with only a few customers coming in. Finally, it was 12 PM and lunchtime.  
  
Lunch arrangements were busily being made. Aragorn was counting out coupons and handing certain ones to either Gimli or Legolas. Frodo and Sam went outside to the balcony with the lunch they brought. Boromir and Faramir were eating on the roof, and Gandalf was busy trying to get someone to give him some money. Eowyn chased Eomer out of the building, and everyone could hear Faramir crying out "Eeeeeeeeeeeooooowyn!!!!!!" from the roof. Aragorn finally let Gandalf tag along with his group, and yu-gi and friends went off.  
  
"OK," Aragorn said. "Let's go!" They went outside into the bright afternoon and piled into Aragorn's car; Ary and Gandalf in the front seats, Gimli and Leggy in the back.  
  
Gandalf opened the glove compartment. "Good Lord of the Rings!" he said. "What's all this paper, Aragorn?"  
  
The Ranger grinned sheepishly. "Um... Speeding tickets?"  
  
"Tsk tsk," Gandalf sighed.  
  
"Oh, look! A drawing pad! It's Pippin's. Would he mind if I drawed in it?" Legolas asked Aragorn.  
  
"Go ahead," the Ranger said, turning the car on and blaring the radio. "Ooh! I like this song!" He started singing and Legolas started drawing.  
  
"Whatcha drawin'?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Oh, I dunno," Leggy said.  
  
Meanwhile, Gandalf was watching Ary's speed. "Speed limit 40 MPH... You're doing 50!" At the same time, Gimli and Leggy were chatting, doodling, laughing, and throwing things at each other, the radio blared "She's Got A Ticket To Ride," and Ary sang at the top of his lungs, either with the radio, or random songs: "I've been through the desert on a horse with no name..." With all the noise going on, it was one little car of chaos. The windows were rolled down and the wind rushed through the car. "Fifty- five... Aragorn, slow down!!"  
  
Meanwhile, Eowyn was chasing Eomer around, holding and extremely heavy- looking wooden bench. "Can't we eat, please please please??" Eomer begged, trying to find shelter from his sister's attacks. Faramir was following them, and Boromir had to hold onto him to keep from being blown away-now he was very light and airy, being ghosty and all, you know. Faramir was calling "Eeeeeeooooooooooooowwwwyyyyyyyynnn, let's eat, pleeeeassseeee." Finally, they stopped in to get some Indian food and a first aid kit for poor Eomer. All he really felt like eating was rice cream, but Faramir heaped his and Eowyn's plate and presented her plate with a flourish-almost sending it flying onto Eomer's head, but it was saved. Of course, Faramir had to admit-Eomer looked pretty funny when his eyes bugged out.  
  
Sam and Frodo ate quietly and talked like civilized hobbits...  
  
Back with the car group; Aragorn was now speeding at almost 80 when the speed limit was 40. Soon, the long-expected wails of a police car siren came. Aragorn pulled over and turned the radio down. Legolas patted his hair down, and Gimli pouted a little, upset that their ride had stopped. "We were having fun, too," he growled. Gandalf muttered to Ary: "Told you so."  
  
The police officer came over and asked for Ary's license. "Been pulled over much?" he asked casually.  
  
"Nah," Ary smiled.  
  
"Better not let him see the glove compartment," Leggy whispered to Gimli.  
  
"Shaddap..." Ary muttered out of the corner of his mouth.  
  
"What's that, sir?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," Ary grinned.  
  
"I'll have to write you a ticket. Where were you going?"  
  
"To lunch."  
  
"OK... Here's your ticket. Have a good day."  
  
"Byee," 


	3. Party Like It's the Apocalypse?

Ary pulled into... McDonald's, right across from an Applebee's. "Cheap!!" Leggy said accusingly.  
  
"Oh, excuse me for living! I'M paying at least four bucks and you call me CHEAP?!"  
  
"Um... Yeah..."  
  
Gandalf sighed. "Let's just GO," he muttered, pushing them all in.  
  
There was a birthday party going on, for a seven-year-old. In their little corner and the Play Place, everything was a wreck. A tired-looking woman asked Ary what he wanted. They ordered after much "do you want that's" and "how about that's."  
  
They sat down with their food. Suddenly, 50 Cent came in the door and somebody screamed, "50 CENT!!" and a BUNCH of people rushed at him, asking for his autograph. Then a little kid yelled, "Sing the birthday song!" So 50 Cent kindly sang for the kids, who were thrilled, and the staff at McDonald's finally had fun in the middle of a hectic day. Ary went over and some girl saw Leggy and screeched "LEGOLAS AND 50 CENT!! I'M IN HEAVEN!!" and danced with Leggy, who looked VERY flustered.  
  
"Gonna part like it's your birthday"  
  
Leggy, obviously, thought HE was in "The Other Place," and leaped to the door...not as renowned as the Leap of Beren, but hey. What can ya do? He started screaming, "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! THERE'S A STALKER AFTER ME!"  
  
"Oh, come ON!" Ary protested, still dancing. "Come on and actually have some FUN for once!"  
  
"You don't have a stalking FANGIRL on your tail!"  
  
So they finally left, a reluctant Aragorn following. "We left our food!" Leggy realized.  
  
"Actually, those kids ate what was left," Gimli informed him.  
  
Legolas swiveled to face Aragorn. "Does Applebee's take checks?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
Gandalf tapped his watch ("Where'd he get that?" Leggy muttered.). "Well, our lunch break is pretty much up. Come on! Back to work!"  
  
"But I barely ate ANYTHING!" Leggy protested.  
  
Ary huffed. "What a baby. You'll live." This earned him a smack from Leggy and then he began chasing the Elf with his sword all around the parking lot.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
"You four are LATE back," the droid informed the four as they came in.  
  
"Well, you'd be too if 50 Cent popped up at YOUR McDonald's..." Ary said.  
  
"50 CENT?!" the droid screamed and was gone with an autograph book in less than a second flat.  
  
Sam clapped. "Now that's a feat to be renowned for."  
  
Ary shrugged. "He'll be back..."  
  
The doors opened and... Kuroneko-sama walked in. "Meow," he said, jumping onto Aragorn's counter.  
  
"May I help you.... sir?" Aragorn asked, sweat dropping.  
  
"Meeow," Kuroneko-sama said, handing Ary a pamphlet and a picture of a gun. Ary sweat dropped more. He had a gut feeling they didn't sell nuclear bazookas, but.... "I'll check to see if any are in stock, sir...." He said, clicking away on the computer.  
  
(IM session)  
  
never EVER give out your credit card number or password in an IM session! Do you hear me? NEVER!! NEVER EVER EVER EVER!!!  
  
-king'o'gondor says:  
  
hey boromir do we have any nuclear bazookas in stock  
  
BOWmir says:  
  
WHAT  
  
-king'o'godor says:  
  
I'm serious  
  
BOWmir says:  
  
you needa change your im name  
  
-king'o'gondor says:  
  
why  
  
BOWmir says:  
  
-gondor has no king gondor needs no king....  
  
-king'o'gondor says:  
  
oh please just tell me do we have any nuke bazookas  
  
BOWmir says:  
  
-um, NO  
  
-king'o'gondor says:  
  
well just say so then! -geez  
  
(IM session over)  
  
Ary turned back to the black cat perched on the counter. "I'm sorry, sir"(I feel funny- calling a cat SIR??)"but we don't have any in stock."  
  
"Meoww," Kuroneko-sama said, and left. Legolas burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" Aragorn glared.  
  
"Y- you called a CAT 'sir'!" Legolas gasped, laughing. "It was so FUNNY!"  
  
Ary konked Leggy over the head with a spare computer monitor.  
  
"Itai..." Legolas spurted one word of Japanese ("ow", or "hurts") before blacking out.  
  
Ary's eyes were round and big, and he was sweat dropping profusely. "Oops...." he said, still holding the now damaged monitor. Just then, the droid came back, looking extremely happy, holding an autograph...  
  
"OH SUGAR!"  
  
Aragorn tried diving out of sight, but the droid saw what had happened, screamed, and at the same moment Eomer burst through the front door, shattering the glass, screaming about the Apocalypse, Eowyn right behind him, brandishing two very heavy wooden benches, numerous veins popping, looking for all the world like Alfeegi on Truck. Faramir was close behind her, singing love songs, quoting from Romeo and Juliet, confessing his undying love to Eowyn, striking numerous patented Handsome Poses, but Eowyn was oblivious to all. Eomer came crashing in ("THE END OF THE WORLD AT EOWYN'S HANDS!!!"), Eowyn on his heels (looking like a POSESSED Alfeegi on Truck), Faramir a close runner up ("I would die for you, O Eowyn!"), the droid going berserk ("THE MONITOR! THE EMPLOYEE!! EEEE!!"), Aragorn running for his life ("SUGAAAAAR!!!!!"), and cheering and more chaos exploded all around one unconscious Elf, passed out on the floor, muttering stupid things and drooling.  
  
Then ARWEN came in, saw what was going on, and ran AWAY from there. Ary leaped after her shrieking "NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ", the droid on his heels.....  
  
And the hobbits sang campfire songs. 


End file.
